How to Give Birth: What No One Tells You About Safety, Risk and Real Choice with Dr Lucy Lord
- Dr Natalie Hutchins
- Nov 26
- 4 min read
Guest bio:
Dr Lucy Lord is a consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist with over 40 years of experience in women’s health and an internationally recognised career dedicated to maternity care, fertility, and maternal mental health. She has delivered over 6,000 babies and is particularly known for her expertise in managing high-risk pregnancies and recurrent miscarriage, while also championing safe, supported natural birth where appropriate. Recognised for her clinical excellence and tireless advocacy, Dr Lord was awarded an MBE in the UK’s 2022 New Year Honours List for services to health in Hong Kong.
In this episode, we talk honestly about birth plans, risk, guilt, the NHS, C-sections, free birthing, and why chasing a “perfect” birth can leave women more vulnerable, not less.
If you’re pregnant (or planning to be) and feeling overwhelmed by opinions: home vs hospital, induction vs spontaneous labour, “natural” vs epidural, vaginal birth vs elective caesarean, this conversation is for you.
In this episode we cover:
00:00 – The myth of the “perfect birth” Lucy explains why women crave the idea of a flawless, fairy-tale birth and why this expectation can set women up for trauma.
00:04 – Outcome vs process: what women actually want from birth. Healthy baby, healthy mother, preserved future fertility — and why these fundamentals get overshadowed by “choices”.
00:09 – How social media and celebrity narratives distort expectations. From glamorous home-births to late-age pregnancies: why these stories are unhelpful for real women.
00:12 – Why choice isn’t the same as outcome. How UK maternity services often offer “choice” instead of safety, and why risk stratification matters more.
00:17 – Understanding your personal risk: Lucy’s ‘Rule of Fours’. Age, BMI, baby size, gestation, Bishop score and more — the factors that stack to influence birth outcomes. Lucy reveals her real-life risk calculator.
00:24 – Home birth vs hospital birth: who is actually low risk? Why a first-time mother is never truly “known” risk.Why a previous vaginal birth changes everything.
00:28 – Why the maternity crisis changes the equation. The NHS under strain: staffing, morale, safety concerns, and why system capability influences the safety of home birth.
00:33 – Induction vs waiting for spontaneous labour. Why Lucy considers 39–40+3 weeks the sweet spot.The real (small but unnecessary) rise in stillbirth risk post-dates.
00:40 – How to navigate the system if you can’t afford private care. When one private appointment might help.How to communicate with midwives and obstetricians so they really understand your priorities.
00:47 – Why some women feel pulled toward freebirthing. The psychology of opting out: trauma, mistrust, overwhelm and the illusion of total control.
00:54 – Lotus birth and other “magic bullet” practices. Why lotus birth is dangerous and the microbiology behind why placentas rapidly become infected.
01:00 – How evolution shaped childbirth — and why “natural” isn’t always safer. Understanding why birth was never designed around modern expectations.
01:06 – Elective Caesarean: when it's a rational and appropriate choice. Especially for older women, or women certain they only want one child.
01:15 – Forceps, ventouse, pelvic floor and when to bail out. How a good obstetrician decides when assisted delivery is appropriate — and when a C-section is safer.
01:20 – How to write a birth plan your team will actually take seriously. Focusing on outcomes, not ambience.
01:26 – Lucy’s clinic, her work in Hong Kong and why she’s building a new model of women-centred care in London. What she learned delivering 6,000 babies and running a multidisciplinary women’s health practice.
01:30 – Final take-home messages. Use your head and your heart. Be clear. Communicate your true priorities. Understand risk. And don’t chase perfection.
What you will learn in this episode:
How to define a “good” birth in a realistic, outcome-focused way
Healthy baby, minimal physical and psychological harm to mother, and preservation of future fertility.
Why you can’t “choose” to be low-risk
And why the current system sometimes sells “choice” when it can’t guarantee outcome.
How age, BMI, baby’s size, gestation and cervical “ripeness” stack together
…and why, for some women, the chance of needing a C-section can realistically approach 70–90%.
Why a previous straightforward vaginal birth is the single best predictor of another smooth birth
And how that completely changes the risk picture for home vs hospital.
What actually happens to stillbirth and complication risk after 40 weeks
Why Lucy loves 39 weeks as a “sweet spot” and why “just waiting until 42 weeks” isn’t risk-free.
How to think about home birth safely
Including the difference between a well-integrated home birth service and a stretched, decompensating system.
How to approach elective Caesarean as a legitimate option
Especially for older first-time mums who are sure they only want one child – and the caveats.
A practical way to think about forceps and ventouse
When an assisted delivery is worth trying – and when it’s safer to call time and move to C-section.
How to talk to your team so they actually hear you
Simple phrases to use with your midwife or obstetrician that centre what matters most: baby’s health, your long-term health, and your mental wellbeing.
Key takeaways
Stop chasing a “perfect birth”; aim for the best birth for you given your circumstances.
You can’t opt into being low-risk; age, BMI, medical conditions, baby’s size and pregnancy complications all add up.
Guilt and the need for control sit at the heart of many birth decisions.
Understanding this can help you be kinder to yourself and less vulnerable to magical promises and “perfect birth” narratives on social media.
Your birth plan should read like a conversation about outcomes.
Clearly tell your team:
“My top priority is a healthy baby (no brain damage, lowest NICU risk possible).”
“I want to minimise long-term damage to my pelvic floor and preserve my ability to have more children.”
“Given my age/BMI/history, what would you advise if I were your partner/daughter/sister?”
If you’re pregnant and unsure how to balance “trust your body” with “use the system wisely”, this episode will help you put emotion, evidence, and real-world risk together, so you can plan for a birth that is good enough, even if it isn’t “perfect.”
