Connection as Medicine: How Social Relationships Shape our Health
- Dr Natalie Hutchins
- May 19
- 7 min read
By Eleanor Riches and Dr Natalie Hutchins
When we think about living a long and healthy life, we tend to focus on things like food, sleep, and exercise. But the science is clear: our relationships matter just as much.
Social connection isn’t just “nice to have”; it’s a biological necessity, hardwired into our nervous systems. Growing research shows that friendships, community, and emotional closeness have a profound impact on our health and life. For women in particular, connection is medicine, shaping everything from stress regulation to immune function, and even our chances of reaching old age in good health.
In this article, we’ll explore the idea of social longevity and why human connection is so much more than a comfort; it’s a health essential.
The evidence is in: social ties help women live longer
In a long-term study of over 72,000 women, those with higher levels of social integration (more friendships, group involvement, and meaningful connections) were 41% more likely to live past age 85 than their less-connected peers.1 This held true even after adjusting for factors like smoking, physical activity, and depression.
Another meta-analysis spanning over 1.4 million people found that weak social ties increased the risk of death by anywhere between 11% and 53% in some cases.2 But it’s not just about lifespan, it’s also about how we feel and function throughout life. Research shows that people with strong social networks have lower rates of heart disease, stroke, dementia, cancer mortality, depression, and chronic pain.2
How social connection supports your body – from the inside out
Connection doesn’t just feel good, it helps your body stay balanced and healthy. Here’s how:
It calms your nervous system
Supportive relationships help your body move out of “fight or flight” mode – the stress response that can become overactive during isolation or overwhelm. When we feel emotionally safe and connected, our brains produce less cortisol (the main stress hormone). This supports better sleep and mood and even leads to a steadier health rhythm – all signs that your nervous system is in a healthy, balanced state.3
It strengthens your defences
Loneliness can raise chemicals in the body that cause ongoing, low-level inflammation. Over time, this kind of inflammation is linked to problems like heart disease, fatigue and faster ageing.4 On the flip side, close, caring relationships can actually help your immune system function better, so you’re more likely to fight off illness and stay healthy.5
It supports healthy habits
Women with strong social ties are more likely to stick to healthy habits like eating well, moving regularly, attending medical appointments and following treatment plans – because when we feel connected to others, we’re more likely to take care of ourselves, too.4
Put simply: loneliness triggers chemical stress in the body, while social connection helps restore balance.
Loneliness is a serious (and invisible) health risk
We don’t often think of loneliness as a health issue, but it is. In fact, its impact on the body is measurable and dangerous. A review of 23 studies found that loneliness and social isolation increase the risk of heart disease by 29% and stroke by 32%.6 These aren’t minor effects – they’re on par with risks like smoking and obesity.
In a study of Australian women aged 45 and over, chronic loneliness was found to be a strong predictor of early death. Women who reported feeling lonely across six survey waves were three times more likely to die early than those who didn’t.7
These risks aren’t just limited to older women. Some studies show that younger and middle-aged adults may be even more vulnerable to the harmful effects of loneliness, especially when it becomes chronic.3
Loneliness isn’t just a feeling; it’s a serious health risk, and it often slips under the radar.
It’s not about the size of your network, it’s how close you feel to them
When we talk about social health, it’s easy to assume that more friends = better health. But research shows that it’s not the number of people in your life that matters most; it’s how emotionally close and supported you feel that really matters. In other words, quality over quantity.
Loneliness isn’t just about being alone; it’s about feeling unseen, misunderstood or like no one really has your back (even if you’re surrounded by people).8 Many women feel lonely inside marriages, friendships, or busy families, while others who live alone might feel deeply connected and emotionally fulfilled.
A 2024 study across 19 countries looked at what mattered most to women near the end of life. The key factor wasn’t whether they had a partner or were receiving help – it was whether they felt emotionally close to others. Those who did were likely to experience less pain, fewer distressing symptoms and a more peaceful death.9
Why connection gets harder (and more important) with age
As women move through different stages of life, it’s normal for social circles to shift and sometimes shrink.
Big life changes can have a big impact on the relationships we once relied on:
Career changes, motherhood, menopause, and caregiving can leave less time and energy for friendship.
Divorce, moving house, or retirement can disrupt long-term friendship ties.
Losing a partner, family member or seeing adult children leave home can also lead to feelings of disconnection and loneliness.
There’s a well-known psychological idea called “Socioemotional Selectivity Theory”. It suggests that as we get older and become more aware that our time is limited, we begin to prioritise emotional wellbeing over future-focused goals like gaining new knowledge or expanding our circle.10
This means we naturally start to focus on a smaller number of close, meaningful relationships, rather than trying to stay in touch with lots of people. It can be a positive shift, creating deeper bonds, less drama and more emotional connection. But it also means that one of those close connections fades or is lost, the impact can feel much bigger.
Women and loneliness: the experience isn’t the same for everyone
Loneliness can affect anyone, but the way women experience it is different. Many women carry the weight of emotional and social labour in their families, friendships and communities. Their sense of connection is often tied to their role as caregiver, partner or supporter.8
Research shows that women are more likely to feel lonely in midlife, especially during big life changes, like when children leave home, a parent passes away, or a long-term relationship ends. For marginalised women (including BIPOC and LGBTQ+ folk), barriers to connection can be even bigger due to stigma, discrimination or a lack of inclusive spaces.
All of this shows why we need more gender-aware approaches to social health – ones that recognise how things like social pressure, caregiving expectations and inequality shape women’s experiences of loneliness and connection.
Even small social moments make a difference
You don’t need a big group of friends or a packed social calendar to feel the benefits of connection. Even small, positive moments (like chatting with your neighbour, your barista or someone at the gym) can boost your mood and help lower stress.4
And connection works both ways. Studies show that offering support to others can be just as good for your health as receiving it.5 There’s even evidence that simply thinking about someone you love or looking at their photo can activate parts of the brain that make you feel safe and calm.2
So, how can we build better connections?
You don't need to overhaul your entire life to feel more connected. Here are a few simple, research-backed ways to support your social well-being:
Nurture the close ones: Focus on relationships where you feel truly seen and supported. Who helps you feel more like yourself? Who lifts you up, rather than drains you? Reach out more often, even a quick message counts.
Join a group with shared values: Whether it’s a sport, a choir, or a book club, connection grows in community.
Learn to communicate: Saying what you’re feeling and expressing what you need without spiralling or shutting down can help reduce stress and allow deeper conversations.
Let go when you can: Holding onto resentment can quietly block connection. Forgiveness isn’t always easy, but it can open space for more intimacy and peace.
Making sense of the evidence
The research is clear: connection is medicine when it comes to women’s health.
Strong social ties support better sleep, lower stress, healthier habits and a longer life. Meanwhile, loneliness increases the risk of serious illness and can even shorten our lifespan.
It’s not about how many people you know. Feeling emotionally close and supported is what really matters. And while our social circles may shrink with age, those few deep connections become even more important.
No matter what stage of life you’re in, small moments of connection and prioritising the people who truly see you make the biggest difference to your wellbeing.
Connection isn’t a luxury: it’s the secret to living a longer, healthier life.
